 What triggers your grief or trauma after TFMR (termination for medical reasons) pregnancy loss?
My most "random" trigger after TFMR is this one drinking glass in my home... I used it almost daily when TTC Clara, and while pregnant with her... But you see, it's not "silly" or "weird"... it actually makes a lot of sense. Because after my TFMR, all of a sudden while drinking out of that glass my brain was screaming at me: "Ha! You thought drinking water would keep your baby and pregnancy healthy...nope, you FAILED." 😞 If you are feeling this way with mundane things and feelings and smells after your baby has died, it's normal. You're not crazy. Some of the biggest triggers can be things like: *Happy family pictures (why don't I get that?) *Sex (this is the way we made that baby, it reminds me of the loss, we had to do IVF and even that led to TFMR...) *Alcohol (oh, I can drink again, I'd rather NOT be able to and still be pregnant) *Holidays (I never even cared about Easter before and now I just wish I could put bunny ears on my baby) *Baby clothes (I wish I could buy that for my baby) *Your house (I remember bleeding in this bathroom, this is where I wanted to put the crib, this is where we sat on the couch and watched the two lines appear) *Coffee (I was so good about cutting it out during the pregnancy - now I can have it again? I wish I wasn't) *Doctor's visits (I'm just here about my foot and they are asking about all my prior pregnancies) *Pregnant bellies (Would I have looked like that by now?) *Your clothes (I'm still wearing maternity clothes with no "maternity", what shit) *Food (I wish I was still restricting the sushi and cold cuts) *Ultrasounds (I stare and stare at other people's ultrasounds, looking for that one splotch in the heart) And more... everything can be a trigger. You can comment here and answer, "What seemingly random thing triggers you after TFMR?" 💫 One of the ways I worked with my triggers, slowly and gently over time, was through moving meditation. I've put a few of my favorite practices all together. Some of the practices in the tracks helped me understand my triggers, and some of the practices where to find a touch of calm when I felt too much. You can find this whole audio program here, I call it the Peace of Mind after TFMR: an audio mindfulness program 💫
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