Amanda turned BLAME into LOVE through being in Ascend
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"I was searching for a community where I could talk to people without feeling judged. A safe space where I didn't have to explain myself." -Amanda, TFMR for rare genetic condition mom |
Amanda experienced so many setbacks even trying to conceive her first pregnancy (needing IVF, then discovering she and her husband were both carriers for a rare genetic condition) and then miraculously she got pregnant naturally! She was 31 years old at the time.
At 20 weeks, unfortunately, Amanda found out that her baby boy DID HAVE the condition she and her husband carry. So much heartbreak. She terminated at 21 weeks.
She was feeling guilt, so alone, doubt in her decision and never-ending wonder about the potential "grey" outcomes. She had all the complicated feelings that come with needing to end a wanted pregnancy. Joining our community made things make a little more sense.
Amanda joined Ascend, out TFMR grief circles, pretty quickly after her pregnancy loss, at about 1 month out. She had been searching for a community where she wouldn't be JUDGED or need to OVER-EXPLAIN the intricacies of TFMR. She was looking for healing, and help in that process. She says it was the best thing she could have done.
Her parents stepped in and helped her join the group. Support on top of support.
The best part of Ascend for her was JOURNALING. She found it helpful to have time to reflect on her feelings and gained insight through sharing her writing and hearing what others had written too. This part of each circle was warm and caring for her. She also found calm in the sound healing we would began some circles with.
Amanda's biggest shift being in the program was being able to not BLAME herself any longer, and being able to really feel the LOVE with which she made the decision for her baby boy, who she named James. At the beginning of the program, she stated she felt very emotional, and was still trying to understand all the trauma that surrounded the diagnosis and termination. Now she can allow the grief to come IN and she lets herself feel the feelings - something she learned how to manage through being in the program. What an amazing life skill to have now.
Her biggest takeaways from her time in Ascend was feeling safe to speak freely. She now feels more open with the people around her who do respect the decision. She was able to move towards her grief, in a safe, gentle, supported-by-community space.
Amanda wants you to know that you don't need to struggle alone and only deal with it internally. Others have been through the same thing, and we are here for you.
A little extra note on Trying To Conceive (TTC) and being pregnant after loss during the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle program:
Amanda continued on her IVF journey and TTC while in the Ascend program. She checked with Sabrina, the TFMR pregnancy loss doula that runs the circle, and they crafted a way that Amanda felt was respectful to share about her pregnancy.
Being pregnant after loss can bring up SOOO much around TFMR. Being in the circle gave her a space where she could talk about how being pregnant again was bringing up the grief of losing James along with the hope and tough emotions. Amanda went on to have a healthy baby, a little brother for James.
There is hope and life after TFMR. You never forget the baby that died, and there is HEALING too.
At 20 weeks, unfortunately, Amanda found out that her baby boy DID HAVE the condition she and her husband carry. So much heartbreak. She terminated at 21 weeks.
She was feeling guilt, so alone, doubt in her decision and never-ending wonder about the potential "grey" outcomes. She had all the complicated feelings that come with needing to end a wanted pregnancy. Joining our community made things make a little more sense.
Amanda joined Ascend, out TFMR grief circles, pretty quickly after her pregnancy loss, at about 1 month out. She had been searching for a community where she wouldn't be JUDGED or need to OVER-EXPLAIN the intricacies of TFMR. She was looking for healing, and help in that process. She says it was the best thing she could have done.
Her parents stepped in and helped her join the group. Support on top of support.
The best part of Ascend for her was JOURNALING. She found it helpful to have time to reflect on her feelings and gained insight through sharing her writing and hearing what others had written too. This part of each circle was warm and caring for her. She also found calm in the sound healing we would began some circles with.
Amanda's biggest shift being in the program was being able to not BLAME herself any longer, and being able to really feel the LOVE with which she made the decision for her baby boy, who she named James. At the beginning of the program, she stated she felt very emotional, and was still trying to understand all the trauma that surrounded the diagnosis and termination. Now she can allow the grief to come IN and she lets herself feel the feelings - something she learned how to manage through being in the program. What an amazing life skill to have now.
Her biggest takeaways from her time in Ascend was feeling safe to speak freely. She now feels more open with the people around her who do respect the decision. She was able to move towards her grief, in a safe, gentle, supported-by-community space.
Amanda wants you to know that you don't need to struggle alone and only deal with it internally. Others have been through the same thing, and we are here for you.
A little extra note on Trying To Conceive (TTC) and being pregnant after loss during the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle program:
Amanda continued on her IVF journey and TTC while in the Ascend program. She checked with Sabrina, the TFMR pregnancy loss doula that runs the circle, and they crafted a way that Amanda felt was respectful to share about her pregnancy.
Being pregnant after loss can bring up SOOO much around TFMR. Being in the circle gave her a space where she could talk about how being pregnant again was bringing up the grief of losing James along with the hope and tough emotions. Amanda went on to have a healthy baby, a little brother for James.
There is hope and life after TFMR. You never forget the baby that died, and there is HEALING too.