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I went through a TFMR myself in 2018, with my planned and wanted second baby, Clara.
The heart of it all is our babies don't stop mattering when their bodies can't stay. The love doesn't stop. The connection doesn't stop. Clara guides everything I do now - every call, every session, every moment I hold space for parents like us. Clara and I are still connected. Your baby is still with you too. & we are here together as parents because no one should walk this path alone. |
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Sabrina Fletcher
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When I realized the medical world sees this as an "elective abortion" I knew something has to change, better support must be out there. I looked and looked, and eventually became a grief doula for us, for this misunderstood and forgotten type of baby loss. Because I know this: the medical record might say one thing but the truth is that TFMR (termination for medical reasons) is fiercely parenting your baby through the most impossible decision love has EVER asked of you. And it breaks your heart into a million pieces. The world may not understand, but we do. Here, your baby matters. Your motherhood/parenthood MATTERS. Your impossible decision matters. As your bereavement doula, I walk beside you and connect us through groups & communities, helping you learn to carry the love that has nowhere to go, even if others pretend it doesn't exist. Your love for your baby didn't end when their body couldn't stay. That love, that STILL PARENTING - is still real and holy and HERE. |
When you're ready for community:
Join 1000+ TFMR parents who have been through it too
The TFMR Support Circle is where you can share your real feelings & the WHOLE story without explaining yourself.
Private, screened, and safe.
(If you are still seeking more information to decide if TFMR will be the right path for you, get on a Decision Support call with me here)
How to *really* get through this (a free support resource):
After my TFMR I found that general grief "advice" just did not cut it. I found what does work and put it all together for you. This is NOT another guide about bubble baths, but realistic self-care for yourself in the pain and grief of terminating a wanted pregnancy.
This guide includes practices, self-care ideas, groups, community offerings and my kind, compassionate words of understanding and inspiration.
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I want to stay in contact with you and send you my curated books & ideas & group invitations that ACTUALLY help TFMR grief.
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