It's not always comfortable or convenient, the moments when my daughter's grief pops up. But isn't that the damn truth about grief. It is NOT comfortable. It is NOT convenient.
For example, this is a picture of an origami boat my oldest daughter made in memory of the baby who died in pregnancy, in memory of her sister Clara.
Sometimes my daughter's grief comes out as spontaneous tears. So I sit with her. And sometimes she wants me to help her make Clara artwork, even though inside I'm falling apart and it's breaking my heart. But I am also proud of her. So very proud.
Together we sit. Side by side. Not taking each others' grief away.
I don't hide my grief from my daughter. I allow her to see me cry, see me mourn. In turn, she expresses her own grief, she doesn't bottle it up.
I'm able to show up for my daughter like this because I put in the grief work that I need to do for ME. My own journaling, artwork, being in my grief communities, doing my own therapy and getting my own energy work done.
It's so important that we have safe places to process our grief as adults. So we can show up for ourselves, for the kids in our lives, our partners, our communities.
If you're looking for a deep yet gentle space to process your grief after TFMR pregnancy loss, our grief circles are open for enrollment for just a few more days. Check out the details here and apply to join us.
So you can keep showing up in your life. You deserve a special place where you can write your baby's name too.