After my TFMR I was "guilty" of thinking all these things:
💗Then I found TFMR groups and other loss parents. They saw me as a grieving mother. "Even though" it was a "decision"...they validated my grief.
💗I read different grief books and found a support program that worked for me and my needs. I learned it was ok for my grief to take as long as it needed, and what I really needed to learn was how to carry and comfort and honor my grief well.
💗I saw other couples struggling, and I struggled too in my relationship. Then some kind therapists reminded me that my process was MY process. And my husband's was HIS. And that we were allowed to do it *differently.*
💗I focused on my own healing and grief work, knowing that any future siblings of my deceased baby would not come to heal me.
➡️ But MAN, it's a lot of detangling and lots of layers.
It helped dramatically to be in TFMR support groups. I run one now on Facebook if you'd like to apply to join. Click on this link and apply to join us there.
And having a loss doula was so helpful too. Someone to be a sounding board, to see me through TTC again, and even my rainbow pregnancy.
I have 2 spots open for private bereavement doula clients if this sounds like the kind of gentle emotional and spiritual companion you'd like alongside you in your process. You learn more or you can get on a call with me here if you are looking for this kind of support.
🌼What about YOU? Which of these misconceptions have you worked through or are you working through?🌼