I hope you can let these words sink deep into your bones and soul:
💫Take it moment by moment💫
After my baby died through a termination, the depths of my grief were bottomless. And on top of that, I was never "educated" on grief before my TFMR.
I had to learn to live moment by moment, second by second. Until a bit more space came between the huge grief waves...then it was minute by minute. But if you are very early out, move through your experience moment by moment.
💫You are a good parent💫
Oh my heart, when another TFMR parent told me this, I felt like I could breathe again. Finding other people who had been through this horrific experience saved me. They reminded me of my goodness.
As a Bereavement Doula now, I run my own safe, closed Facebook group just for us bereaved TFMR parents. Come join us if you are looking for a community like this. Where people will remind you, YOU are a good parent too.
💫You made a kind and compassionate decision💫
No matter the type of termination, no matter your baby's or your diagnosis, YOU knew best.
As much as the media would like to talk up "carrying to term" as the "more" compassionate choice, I don't believe this. In between a rock and a hard place, all the options are kind and compassionate. None better than others. You made your decision with everyone's best interest and health in mind. And with LOVE. That is kind.
💫Your health and wellbeing matters💫
It does! Many TFMRs are due to devastating fetal anomalies, but many are for maternal health reasons as well. Or a combo. That was actually the tipping point for my case - we avoided maternal health complications by terminating our pregnancy.
Because I matter, to my other kids, to my husband. To ME. Me as me, my health and wellbeing matters. So.Does.Yours! If your TFMR was for maternal health reasons, you are welcome in my TFMR Support Circle (the Facebook group) as well.
❤May you hold these statements close. If you can't fully accept them all, let it take it's time❤
& if you would like Bereavement Doula support through your process after TFMR, I have free intro sessions open, so take advantage now. You can find out if 1 on 1 work or any upcoming grief circles would be best for you. Get your free session here. 🤲💜